February 2012
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Attention Insomniacs Who Drink 6-10 Cups Of Coffee...
I think I figured out your problem.
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MENDOZA IMPROV SHOW PLEASE COME
Hello all. It’s that time again. The first Thursday of the month is approaching and that means Mendoza has an improv show that’s going to make you piss with happiness and laughter.
Please join us this Thursday March 1st at The Triple Crown on 7th Avenue between 28th and 29th streets at 9:30pm. The show is free. It’s downstairs and we have a great host who plays the guitar and...
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WatchHere’s a video of me having the hiccups and not enjoying it.
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Cranky.
I hate reply replies.
I hate sitting around all day.
I hate that the Oscars aren’t on RIGHT NOW.
I hate reply replies.
I hate my crankiness.
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Trapped.
Does anyone want to come over to my house and climb up my castle (my practically vertical staircase) and bust through my door and rescue me by carrying me out of here and letting me taste sweet, fresh oxygen and perhaps delicious food and a bottle of wine?
Ouch.
Help?
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what do you guys call it?
grocery store, supermarket, market, food store?
ripslich asked: do you think that most jokes about drummers work for bass players? please show your work.
fancyglasses asked: Have you ever sold/given a piece of art only to realize later that you miss it?
dirtyblaxican asked: Oh hey there Shira, you have a very nice askhole. It's so comfy in here. Anyways, I've been dying to ask you a very important question. Seriously haven't slept in years, it's killing me! But... WHAT ARE THE TWINS' NAMES????
divergentone asked: If you could change ANYTHING about yourself - physical, life situation, past... ANYTHING... What would it be?
timbalanced asked: If you had a penis what would you name it?
thedude---- asked: If the Frankenstein monster came up to you what would you do?
thisguyles asked: What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
thatchris asked: Do you speak with the Pompatus of Love??
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ask me things you will not be disappointed.
thanks.
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you guys if i was a duchess i could say i'm a...
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rooney mara-thon would be a great name for a tv...
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pain meds.
you’ll see.
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Folks, Send Some Love...
incognito-jewels:
…to the lovely abangnotawhimper, who sadly has to say good-bye to her long-time feline companion today, Bushy.
(Here is her Askbox if you want to send her hugs and stuff).
We love you Bushy and Jessica.
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A New York City Thank You.
Guy on street staring at me while I'm limping by in a knee brace and on crutches: Yikes. ACL?
Me: Nah. MCL.
Street guy: Damn. That shit hurts. Hope you feel better soon.
Me: Thanks a lot man, I appreciate it.
Street guy: Don't thank me, thank your doctor. I didn't do shit for you.
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True Love.
Shira: i will gape my b-hole for you
Jessica: hahahahahhahahahaha
Jessica: true love
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Shameless Friend Promotion
Attention D.C. area people who enjoy a good time with great music. Go to my friend Rich’s show on Friday and you are guaranteed a good time.
Here are the details:
Who: Bad Domes
What: Live Mashup rager and stuff
When: Friday, 2/24. Doors open @ 9:30, Bad Domes @ 11:30
Where: Black Cat (1811 14th St NW, Washington, DC) on the Backstage
Why: Because you don’t know a better...
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Truthful Tuesday #1: A snack I like.
I really enjoy eating like a tablespoon or so of fat free sour cream mixed with a half cup of low-fat cottage cheese and some red beet horseradish. In a bowl. With a fork. It’s a Jew thing - mostly for Passover.
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My Tumblr: Analyzed.
Pittsburgh
GPOY
Opinions
Improv shows
Hearts
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Snark Memories - A Compilation
1. Jose the tattoo artist
2. Bottled water documentaries
3. My excessive air thrusting
4. Impregnating a subway pole
5. Fred patting the top of my head every time I walked by him
6. Communal gummy bears/hepatitis c
7. Michele cry-laughing about pooping out the gummy bears
8. Taking Ruth home to the hotel in a cab
9. Amanda’s lonely vagina
10. My fucking salad
11. Cuban brunch
12....
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"Do you mind if I watch a little Frasier before...
This is the question I asked Jessica every night as we were going to sleep. She was in my bed and I didn’t want to disturb her.
Luckily, she thinks that’s the most pathetic and old lady question in the world and couldn’t stop laughing. So I watched me some Frasier while she giggled herself to sleep.
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I will be honest.
I had a bad attitude about going to Snark this weekend. I have been feeling not-so-much-myself lately and I was worried everyone would think I’m a moody bitch and that I would allow myself to act like I didn’t want to be there. I still am a moody bitch - but I’m glad I attended. I did want to be there. I met a lot of people that I’ve been wanting to see for a while - Ruth,...
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